On Tuesday morning, May 12, I went in for a MRI of my head. (Let’s be honest – I was long overdue to have my head examined.) For the past year and a half or more I’ve experienced a gradual loss of hearing in my right ear, so the doctor wanted to rule out a tumor with the MRI, and also ordered another test. After the MRI was complete, the technician handed me a CD with the images to provide to my doctor. Of course the first thing I did was pop it in to my computer to see what I’d be able to make out, if anything. As I began to scroll through the images I was able to see a pretty sizable abnormality, so I called up my mother, who just so happens to be a nurse for one of the top neurosurgeons in the area. I left a voice mail letting her know that I saw something, although I wasn’t entirely sure what I was seeing. It was pretty obvious, however, that it didn’t belong there.
A short while later my mom called me back to let me know that the doctor was reviewing the MRI and talking with the doctor who had originally sent me in. Later that morning my mother called me back to confirm what I already knew – I have a brain tumor. Now, here I need to pause and share something with you. I can honestly say that I haven’t been fearful or worried through all this. To be honest, I expected it. It’s 2009, and I have Dr. Google on speed dial, so this wasn’t a complete surprise. That said, it wasn’t the research or reading that made me feel relaxed. It’s in knowing that God is at work in my life though this. I understand that there are some who may read this and feel uncomfortable with that concept – that God would work through something like this for His own purposes. I believe, however, that’s the only reason God works through anything. I’ve told Him several times over the years that my life is His for whatever He wants, and I’ve meant it. Still do.
Back to the story. The conversation with my mom basically netted the following information: I have a tumor. The tumor is NOT cancerous. It’s big (approximately golf ball size or just under 3 cm in diameter). The situation is hopeful, but serious. There are two different types of tumor this may be; either an acoustic neuroma or a type of meningioma. It’s pretty unusual that either would show up in someone my age. I want to repeat, however, that both are benign – this is a big plus for me. Both types are usually treatable with radiation or surgery. Radiation is preferable, because it’s much less invasive, and much quicker. Surgery poses some high risks and lengthy recovery, with the added bonus of nearly guaranteed, permanent hearing loss (they have to slice through the hearing nerves to get to the tumor).
The problem for me is that given the size and the location of the tumor, toward the back of the brain and pushing on my brain stem, the surgeon recommends against radiation. I tend to trust this doctor’s opinion in this regard as he is the head of the Knoxville Gamma Knife, a device that can deliver highly concentrated radiation and basically “cut out” the tumor – so he’s a pro when it comes to radiation treatment. He’s concerned about exposing the brain stem while trying remove the tumor, which has all kinds of crazy outcomes including paralysis, neurological/motor impairment, and death. I’d obviously like to avoid all, so I’m with doc on this one.
Given the size of the tumor, I’ll probably be referred to Vanderbilt Hospital where apparently there’s a doctor who specializes in the type and size of tumor I’m up against. I won’t know anything definite until Monday, May 18, after I have my first “real” in-office consultation with the neurosurgeon.
Let me share with you a couple of really awesome “God things”:
- I was supposed to have another test on June 1 to figure out the source of the problem. Because of this, I probably wouldn’t have gotten the results of my MRI until after that date. Because my mother is who she is, where she is, I was able to have same day results. This is beyond amazing to me. No days or weeks of worry or concern. I was provided with immediate understanding of my situation.
- Because of the size of the tumor and the fact that it is pushing on the brain stem, the doctor was surprised that I haven’t had other issues. Most people with this type of tumor experience dizzyness, nausea, imbalance…and that’s without it pressing on the brain stem. I could be facing some really, really serious issues that I’m not.
This is God at work, and I’m excited to see how He continues to work it out for His glory. In fact, this is what I’m calling my “prayer priority”. I have three:
- For God to receive the glory through this. However He sees fit.
- To avoid surgery, if possible.
- To retain my hearing if surgery is necessary.
If you would help me and my family pray for these things, in this order, we would greatly appreciate it. I’ll be using this blog to keep you in the loop and up to date with everything that happens. Consider it a conversation. You can comment on any post on this blog, and I’ll do my best to respond when possible. Thanks for taking an interest, and by faith we’re going to see God really do something powerful.
Get a better view by clicking this thumbnail. The white is the tumor, not my brain. ;)
